The General Election, oh yes, that old thing, I suppose I must try and advise you that this election has got nothing to do with Brexit, Post Brexit, Hard Brexit, the state of the Labour or Liberal or whoever might challenge, But in reality it's quite simply because, 30 Conservatives were about to be charged for fiddling their electoral expenses and those elected would be banned from sitting in the house. Which, in turn, would prevent Mrs May from having a parliamentary majority, which in itself would have meant a change of Government and not a General Election. This is because when the government of the day cannot command a majority in the house, then the Queen must then call upon the leader of the opposition to try and form a Government. You could therefore truthfully say this general election is nothing more than a contemptuous effort to save those from the stench of guilt and corruption.
Time to eat yourself slim, by the North-Person method, or the Scandinavian/Viking Diet. Mind you, those enormous meat eating sessions, need to be kept discreetly to one side. Of course you can always rely upon dishes prepared with Lamb and their should be a fair amount of Game, available.
You know, such people living up a fjord, close to the sea, will naturally have lots of fish and a good variety of north water fish in their diets, such as Mackerel, Herring, Trout and Salmon, to name but a few.
It's all about foods sourced locally and seasonally, a good balance of Protein, Carbohydrate and Fats, with Barley, Berries and Oats, with Poultry, Fish and Game, Cabbage, Kale and Root Vegetables.
As a sampler you could try say a omelette cooked with bacon, or some smoked mackerel with a Scandinavian cheese, (the Vikings have a long tradition of cheese making) with a hunk of rye bread.
I've been toying with the idea of planting a Monkey Puzzle Tree, for a number of years now and it probably came about due to some local controversy regarding the felling of a full-grown specimen at a large country pile, where the tree was blocking the supposed view. Now I'm not saying these trees are a local phenomenon, by any means, but you do, or at least I have, started noticing them everywhere in my local neighbourhood and not just in the grounds of larger private houses, They seem to keep cropping up, just about anywhere and in various stages of their development. The only real matter to consider when planting such a tree is they are a long term prospect and will come to dominate their patch of ground, reaching heights of up to 50m.
Araucaria araucana or Monkey Puzzle, so named because it would be a problem for a monkey to climb such a tree, as a slow rate of growth and can live for a thousand years.
Perhaps I've bothered my friends a little too much with my talk of the trees that finally a couple gave me a tree, carefully cultivated at a local garden centre and I will now seek a suitable space where I can hopefully see it grow by at least a few inches!
