John Lennon

      You're a young lad playing your guitar on the back of a van, then you're tearing your throat out trying to sing. You find success, make a few records, a couple of movies and show your bare bottom on the front page of every newspaper in the world. Soon it's time to move on, say goodbye to the others, then suddenly it's your seventieth birthday and you're not around to celebrate. At least you have enriched mankind with your brief presence!

Tony Curtis

Tony Curtis.

Oh Tony oh tony oh tony don't go,

oh tony oh tony oh tony oh no,

best remembered as a transgendered jazz musician in love with Marilyn Monroe.

Oh tony oh tony it's a shame and a pity,

you had to strangle all those women in Boston City.

You racist you bigot you broke out of jail and went on the run,

then spent the movie cuffed to Poitier, you Defiant One.

You were good in Spartacus and Kirk's death was a loss,

and if you hadn't claimed to be Spartacus you wouldn't have ended up on a cross.

With Kirk in the Vikings that was another,

though to get Janet Leigh into bed you had to kill your own brother.

Oh tony oh tony you made 100 movies and walked the golden mile,

you'll be remembered as a good actor and not just for a hairstyle.

Oh tony oh tony if you must go,

At least you were first to Monte Carlo.

The Joy of the Open Road

     People are on the move, that's trains and planes, cars and vans and bikes and lorries, anything which will carry people and baggage and pets and luggage. There's panic buying of food and drinks and petrol and other goodies. The roads are blocked and tempers fume, there's delays and hold-ups and diversions and doom. "Is this war?" I hear you cry, no, just another Bank Holiday!

A day in the Countryside

      I love spending a day out in the countryside, quaint little tea shops, quiet country pubs, range rovers, horses......the smell of manure.

Those Young Ladies of the British Aristocracy.

      You know I've always had a thing about the aristocracy, ever since I picked up a copy of Tatler in a Doctor's waiting room. All those young ladies with gazelle like necks and pouting lips and names like Sabrina, Alexandra and Penelope.

Limestone...If You Like That Sort Of Thing.

      Somehow found the time on an exhaustively hot late Friday afternoon, to get a quick hike up onto Whitbarrow Scar. I'm not totally unfamiliar with this area, even though it is a little off my usual beat, it is quite handy for places like Kendal and Grange. It depends how you come to this hill, for myself, I'd been doing some work in Grange and came up the A590 and drove in the direction of Crosthwaite Village, up some particularly narrow but fortunately quiet lanes. There are some really splendid properties in this area, not quite properly in the Lakes, but just far enough outside to get away from all that commercial hub-bub.

      Due to a little good fortune, perhaps the odd time of day, I was able to park at the old Lime Kiln, on the nor-nor-west edge of the range, from where there is a good track up onto the lower north point. From here on its a good march south, along rough lime stone pitted tracks, through a desolate sparse landscape.

      Amazingly there are other people up here as well, I met a lone female jogger, who happily gave me a cheery "Hello" then a male walking his dog, they stopped to chat for a few moments. Later, out of the warm haze, i saw two people and some dogs coming towards me, yet as they got closer, I only then realized it was in fact another lone female and three dogs. She also stopped for a few moments, whilst the dogs ran around in excitement.
      After this, it was time for my big push, to this fairly prominent stone cairn, known as Lord's Seat. 666 feet, give or take a few inches. Revd G.A.K. Hervey 1893-1967. Founder of the National Trust, Natural Historian, etc. It was only then, with my water gone, did I realize that I was only at the half way point of my walk! I reasoned that I would need at least a couple more hours to get to the southern most point and back, without water and the evening coming on. So not for the first time in my life I decided to retrace my steps and take this hill on once again later in the year. Having said that, it was still something of a slog, back to the car and with a fairly breezy wind against me. Still, there are some wonderful views across to Brigsteer, Levens and down to the coast.

Cartmel and Grange South West Lakes

      As I walked out one sunny morn, from the medieval town of Cartmel, don't get carried away, there isn't much else beyond this archway, the market-cross and of course the abbey. I'm sure someone will tell you there's so much more.
      We set out, myself, my friend Stewart and his dog Bruce, down the track to Holker, via the Racecourse and through the fields and woods. We are on the famous Holker Estate (pronounced Hooker). Holker is an interesting little village, in that all the estate properties are painted blue, which is in fact most of the buildings. It's also worth mentioning that what pavements here can be very narrow, awkward and unkempt. These are not pedestrian friendly streets and here as most other places, the roads are more or less given over to a race-track.
      The route takes us through Cark, then onto Flookburgh, staying upon the road. Our destination is Allithwaite but instead of following the direct road, we took the route down to the old airfield, branching to the left, by the Cartmel Sticky Toffee Pudding Factory, I could smell this heavenly place back in Flookburgh! We're now on the quiet Willow Lane, which leads onto Holy Well Lane. We're not far from the sea. Now we took a series of footpaths, well marked, which gave us a couple of minor view points and took us down to the beach and across a lot of arable land, Brucie was never off the lead. I also collected a number of nettle stings, due to my passion for wearing shorts on warm sunny days.
     The path lead us onto the outskirts of Allithwaite through a local stable, where we were able to see a newborn foal, still very uncertain upon it's feet, I was able to give the proud mother an apple and some sugar and a scatch of her ears. There were also a pair of young calves, resting in the shade, their mother came over and unexpectedly licked my fingers, possibly for the remains of the sugar. We now faced a hard little climb up the steep Jack Hill and then onto Kirkhead Road, which then dropped us down into the southern end of Grange Over Sands. And the Kent's Bank railway station. Not far along Kentsford Rd, there is a footpath that leads down onto a excellent path, which soon leads to the promenade. This is a section i really enjoy, as about a mile along there is a beach side cafe, at which we call upon every visit for a mug of coffee and a piece of chocolate cake, so nice after the morning's hike.



      This break and especially the cake gets us going again and we are easily stroll up the rest of the Grange seafront, past the old lido and up to Grange railway station, where we are able to cut back onto Main Street and make a planned visit to the Hazelmere Cafe and Bakery. It may well be passed noon but really it's time for breakfast, or more likely, The Mountain Man's Breakfast. Which is a huge "Gastro" Breakfast. I will happily forgive all my previous gastro experiences, for this delicious little feast. Of course the Strawberry Vanilla Slice and various cups of coffee didn't go amiss either.

Grange-Over-Sands, or Over-Grass, as it is known locally.

      How did we manage to set out again after that monster feast, well only with a struggle of course. We made a fairly rapid ascent up Grange Fell Road, past the Golf Course on one side and the Cemetery, on the other. A rapid though tired march down Haggs Lane and in no time we are back in Cartmel. Just time for a quick look at the Abbey.

Those Roses of Summer

          These are the Roses photographed from my bedroom window, in the warm (not hot) midday sun. It's been a good year for the roses, considering the bush was planted in 1948 by my Grandmother. Not sure about the variety, perhaps something of a Pink, or Schreurs, as they say, a popular pink. Originally the bush was about a foot tall, now it's up to the window, without any major attention, certainly a hardy variety.

Death And Life.

      Have endured an awful week of illness, upon my deathbed, almost thought I was going to die.

      Then and against the odds, I somehow managed to make a remarkable recovery, almost as though I'm risen from the dead!

War And Peace...?

      War & Peace! Just read it, not a book, but a brick, in fact thicker than a brick. To be quite honest I only read it because it appeared on a list of books people claim to have read, but have never even attempted and on the way, several people did tell me they had read it at some point in their lives, but were rather vague about the content. For those about to read it, I would recommend a grounding in Dickens, Thackeray and perhaps Dumas. Something which helped me was to try and place myself in the book, but as a different character, trying to operate with everyone else and how I might react. I can honestly say it was marvelous to have an alternative estate at Bald Hills and being able to make visits to see my neighbours the Bolkonskys and my town house, and of course dealing with that bad mother, Napoleon B.  

Wansfell, South Eastern Fells

      At last we are blessed with some better sunny weather, an opportunity not to be missed, decided to do one of my favourites, I say favourite, because it's so readily available. You start at the Car-Park at Low Fold, you walk a few yards to the right, on Old Lake Road, then you take a left hand turn up the steep hill in the direction of Skelghyll Woods. This is proably the old Roman road out of Roman Ambleside, thought to be Galava or Clanoventa, but with some caution.  You must leave your car at the car-park, there is nowhere to park anywhere on this route and if you tried, I'm sure some mad farmer would run a pitchfork into your tyres or accidentely drive his tractor into your door panels!

      All this aside, you begin with a steep climb up the first part, before the route levels out, allowing you to catch your breath and a good view over Waterhed Bay, always worth the walk.

      At least this is a good old dusty old track with lots of trees and vegetation and sounds and smells and it's so good to leave everything behind. The road soon begins to take on a more business like nature,

      Its steeper and it's harder, there's loose stones and lumps of wood, that's when the good footwear comes in, if it was raining, you might well think you are walking up a beck bottom! One other small point, this is also a route for kamikaze mountain bikers and I know some who like to take it at full-tilt, not recommended. After the old stone bridge, there is a steep stone track directly up the hill and a more gentle route to the left, I always take the route to the left going up and the other coming down. This leads onto another level patch, where you can rest and take a break at Jenkin's Crag, the views are still reasonable but are being overtaken by the trees.

      You must now back-track a few yards to the rock that bears this sign, the National Trust announce this as being Kelsick Scar Wood, although I like to think of it all as being Skelgyll. I was lucky enough to be brought here with my father about fifty years ago, for a great day out in the Winter's snow. You must follow the path up, through pleasant woodland and bracken, it's nice to see shafts of sunlight breaking through the leafy blanket. A path will join from your right, walk straight on, a path will break to your right, follow it upwards and over the ladder-stile and now you are on the open fell, the trees are left behind.

      Almost immediately you will see this structure, it's one of two in the immediate area, not an old fortification, but part of the Thirlmere-Manchester Water Pipe.       There's now a good hike to the top, it can be hard going but keep looking for those views, as you pass-by the old quarry workings.      The path is clear ahead, it's the one that just keeps going upwards and those views just keep getting better!      There's another ladder-style and the walk levels somewhat, it's there, just ahead of you, in fact just follow the path by the wall, over a few small hills, then I can sit in my favourite seat, on the side of the fell. I'm not telling you where it is, I want to sit there the next time I'm up this way and hopefully for a good many more years yet to come!

Don't You Just Get Tired Of All Those Views?

      Another dry and almost sunny evening where I just had to seize the opportunity and grab a quick walk. I'd decided upon Lingmoor Fell, which is familiar to me as I must have been up here as many as sixty times in the past eighteen years, in fact I've walked it, run it and even cycled over it. Normally i would park in Elterwater, only today I was able to leave my car at a friend's house in the village, of course I always feel safer when I can do this in an evening.

     Began the hike by walking along the Colwith road as far as the Eltermere Hotel then forking right, on the Baysbrown back lane, there's a good steep little hill on this road which should get you breathing. If you look over the walls, you will notice in the trees signs of a good litter of long-ago quarry workings, they can be easily up to a thousand years old. You will come to the first major junction on your right, this is a good slate track up onto Lingmoor, on a gentle incline, through light fell-side woodland, which soon breaks out onto some old quarry workings, beyond the tree-line. Here you can get the first hint of the good views to come.

      Time for a rest and who am I to argue? We're soon off once again and now there's no trees to hide the view, although it's best to keep your eyes on the track as there are plenty of loose slates to trip you up and force you to make an unnecessary call to the Langdale and Ambleside Mountain Rescue! The path continues in something of a zigzag movement up the remainder of the fell upon a fairly steep to reasonable incline, which is the normal route to follow. This time however, I made a spur of the moment decision to take a different course, which is along the quarry track to more former workings. The path such as it is now takes a more severe up-turn, until you are physically walking up the old slate sleigh route.

      I can't honestly recommend this route to anyone, although my brother seems to use it quite often, this was my third ever ascent, who knows, I may never come this way again! At the bottom the slates are still embedded in place and this acts almost like a staircase, yet as you get further up, the slates are loose and somewhat dangerous, not the way to bring the family! You could be going home in a helicopter, one of the big yellow ones!
      Lake District Cottage For Sale, Good Views, some upgrading required, Roof Needs Attention!
     Soon you break the top and find yourself in the old quarry workings, which are fairly spectacular, and worth a look around, even though it could easily be very dangerous. There is no clear path out of here, although a quick scramble up to the left to a convenient iron fence, puts you back on the fell, then a short walk round the side puts you on the sumit of Lingmoor.

Jetz

      I thought, (hoped) all those jets were banned! Well maybe not the Vulcan, which has made a couple of passes over the house, then there was the Spitfire (not jet) which was so low, the pilot waved to me and the Hurricane and those two Lancaster Bombers, then there's the damned Hercules, which somehow manages to miss my gable-end, every morning, he's so low, the pilot can here my cursing!   

Seize The Moment Loughrigg Fell

      A warm summer's evening! There hasn't been many of those of late, as I'm always saying; "seize the moment." Got my boots on and made my way up the Coniston road to Clappersgate. There's a path discreetly positioned just behind the telephone box that takes you up onto the lower slopes of Todd Pike. Of course it's a well trodden route and in time of floods there is often a beck flowing down the first part, so there's going to be a lot of loose stone under your feet and the path exists in name only. There's plenty of rocks and fallen trees to clamber over, but you're soon out onto the open fell and almost straight away you begin to get the good views Waterhead and Windermere Lake and the hills towards Hawkshead and Coniston. You are now on a path with a more gentle incline which zigzags it's way up the fell, the views just keep on getting better. There's a final short and quite steep piece towards the end, but suddenly you're out one the top and in the open and just in front of you in the short climb to the top of Todd Pike. Here you'll see one of the views which appears in every photographic Lakeland guide in the land.

      Time for a short break and then i'm off again on the trek to Loughrigg Fell, if you come to Todd Pike you may as well go to Loughrigg as well, it's a distance soon covered upon a variety of good paths. You soon come by Lily Tarn, which never seems to dry up, unlike just about every other water-hole up here.

"I say i say i say, my dustbin's full of lilys!"

"Then why don't you throw them out?"

"I can't...Lily's wearing em!"

(apologies to L Donegan).

      Loughrigg is just ahead, or so it seems, you must first traverse a few small hills and of course the main Ambleside to Skelwith footpath. The track up to the fell is fairly obvious, it's very heavily worn by the trudging of thousands, if not millions of pairs of boots. Often on this track I'm surprised to see the many parties of people struggling along in large boots and carrying heavy rucksacks, always seemingly on the point of exhaustion. For myself, I have a simple philosophy for all my days upon the fells and that is I never go out in wet conditions, I always wear the right footwear, i never put myself in danger. Of course I carry a telephone and some cash, if I'm walking in the high fells, then I'll take a pack and the necessary extras.

      If you look at the maps you'll see that there are very few "names" here, yet of course it's pretty obvious where you are going to end up. The summit of Loughrigg Fell is well worth the climb and there are more good views at the "trig point."

Here Comes Summer.

      Saw some funny yellow stuff in the sky, it was smiling at me, could this be the first day of summer? Or just a false dawn.

FA Cup Final

      Managed to get to the F A Cup Final, yesterday, I have a good friend who is well connected at the club (Chelsea). Would you Adam and Eve it? The final score was Chelsea; 1 - 0 Portsmouth, I was hoping Pompey might have got a goal to make a better game of it, they had two good chances.

      Yet of course it goes without saying, at this level you've got to turn good chances into goals, Chelsea on the other hand did create lots of good chances and two good goals.

      Later at the celebratory party, we drank champagne and met Ben Stiller, famous and talented North American actor.

We Are Mr Ed!

      At some point last night, I was moving about in the house, going from room to room, switching lights on and off, opening and closing doors, playing music and moving things around. I went out to the garage, switched on the external lights, when I heard some noises in the adjacent field. I could hear the horses running around and braying in a frenzy, I went to investigate. They came to the fence, looked at me and said; (in horse language) "what's going on? What's all the racket? Don't you know we're trying to get some sleep in here!" I apologized and went to get them some carrots, of course I had to cut the carrots into manageable horse size pieces, cut off any bad bits and even give them a wash, they can't eat just any old carrots you know! There followed a long session of deep concentrated crunching, whilst I gave their ears a good tickle, I was forgiven. To end their late night feast I gave them a couple of chocolate biscuits each. I went back indoors and was more careful with the noise levels.

The Big Sweep.

      Came out of my office upon another dull and cloudy evening, yet spotted a break in the clouds towards the Esthawaite Valley, this was the moment, you might say. Promptly rang Simon, only he cried off, still claiming exhaustion from our previous hike, I was not to be deterred. Made a brief return to my house to change and collect my boots, then I made a rapid drive to leave my car at the main Hawkshead car park.

      Over the years, I've walked and cycled extensively in this area, it's all fairly low level and you're not far from all those good forrest tracks in Grizedale Wood. My planned walk for this eve was a small hill, Latterbarrow, which I quite like to do every year, if I can find the time. There's an easy level walk across the fields to the track from Colt House, which you cross over then continue up on the path to join the road to Low Wrey. It's an easy narrow country lane on which you face a slight incline, but this is easily compensated by the wonderful aroma of wild garlic which seems to be in abundance on this route. Just past the Loanthwaite Lane junction, there begins the path up to Latterbarrow, which soon changes from a gentle track into a short but complete slog to the top. It's perhaps a good job that someone has built a stone staircase halfway up this hill. Recently someone asked me if I'd ever been to the top of Latterbarrow, it made me recall an incident when I was in my early twenties, I'd carried a bag of cement up this path to repair the obelisk at the summit. These days, it's a struggle just to get myself up there!

      The views are always stunning from this little hill, you've got a marvellous unbroken panoramic view from the bottom of Esthwaite Water, up to Hawksead, the Langdale Valley, Fairfield and down Windermere as far as Bowness Bay.

Too Much Summer.

      Decided to make a spur-of-the-moment early evening walk in the Langdale Valley, it is after all summer, that is apart from all the snow and ice. Made the walk with my good friend Simon, he invited me, I had to drive, we took his dogs; "they don't chase sheep!" We parked in Elterwater and took the track over to Little Langdale, then down to "Slater's" Bridge, honestly, I thought they were all called Slater's Bridge, the few still in existence that is. Another dull as ditchwater evening, can't someone have a quiet word and do something about a temporary break in the clouds? It is getting rather close to mid-summer's day, as so many people seem to be gleefully telling me. Simon pointed out part of the tarn known as Rob's Pond, after a shire horse which had stumbled into the water and drowned some years earlier. Simon was very happy to burden me with an assortment of episodes relating to his childhood in this area. We continued round the tarn and up to the Wrynose, Blea Tarn junction, Simon kept rambling about taking photographs of a particular tree, whilst the dogs were chasing rabbits (not sheep) all I could think about was farmers and shotguns!
      We made our return by a track with which I'm not familiar, although Simon knew all about it, on the lower slopes of Lingmoor Fell. This eventually brought us to the rear of The Bield, with which Simon has a much heralded, though dubious connection. Something along the lines of a great aunt twice removed on his mother's side, no matter, by this association he'd spent a great deal of his childhood there and is convinced that he should now be living there regardless of all others. Of course we had to spend far too long here, whilst my friend unburdened himself and tears were shed, not mine or the dogs, might I add.
      I was delighted to find an easy passage back to Elterwater, then drove Simon home to fight with his dogs, whilst I went off to find a hot bath and a warm bed.